all night i just cryed... 12pm struck and i just cryed more. 10 minutes passed, and my cell whone rang... and honestly i was shocked... it was jess. she saved me. i think she was confused because i was crying, but i was happy, when she called i cryed of happiness, because someone, just one person, that one person, remeber me and called on the phone, someone who just thoguth of me. i was amazed... it just felt so nice, to hear someone, to know they wanted to talk to me, to know there is someone who cares. i know it sounds stupid *so what someone called?* but jess is the only person in my school who i really hang out with all that much, and i don't know, i guess i know i'm gonna lose her when she moves in march, and i'm scared, cause i know when she leaves i'm TRUELY not going to have anyone in my school. i'll see her at work, and thats it, except when we hang out at our houses. and well she cared to call me. she remebered me. she also told me she asked her parents if i could come with them to their party but they couldn't bring me. cause she was originally going to come sleepover here.
okay i know i talked to krisst on new years and that was fun cause i love krissy cause she's my BFFL and i would die without her, it was just to know there was someone who remembered me, someone who i love, someone who cares. i still feel sad, and shit, but i'm better enough to say i know jess cares, and it's nice to think that. and for some reasons *i turn to you* by christina aguilera comes in my head. i don't know why. but it can't be a bad thing...
err fuck, that song *these are the days* are on dick clarks new years by o-town performing live. that was the first song me and tony danced to... ughhh... :-/ i miss him. i wish i could hear from him right now. if i heard from him right now, i couldn't ask for more. that would be all i would need. thats would be all i need to live right now.
you are such an amazing person, and i love you sooo much as an indvidual, as a friend. you have no idea how much you mean to me, even if we don't talk as much as we used to, i still think your maazing, and i just don't know how else to explain. if all i can be is your friend, then thats what i want, thats all i need. i wouldn't want to be without you.
love always - me